Y&R Recap: Monday, August 10th, 2009

Out of protest for the storyline that will never end, I refuse to recap anything about this stupid Gaslight Ashley thing. I also reserve the right to take that back should anything too funny to ignore take place. I’m just tired of seeing Eileen Davidson crying all the damn time.

Moving forward, the Newman children that matter to Victor come by so he can tell them that Nikki left town. She’s called off the wedding. Something’s wrong with Victoria, but I can’t put my finger on it.

Cut to Paul telling the florist that the wedding’s off and he’s sorry to waste her time. Todd comes in and sits next to him, and Paul cries man tears.

Billy arrives at the mansion to pick up the spawn, who’s asleep. Mac comes down and Billy seems to brighten up a bit, commenting that she looks pretty beat. Is Mac creeping with Chris Breezy? She says she had a long night so I guess Chris beat it up in more than one way. OHHHHHHHHHHHH SNAP!

Chance comes downstairs in his grown man clothes. Kay remarks that she wishes Philly Trey was there to see him, but he brushes it off by saying that it’s just his first day of work. Kate congratulates him with a hug.

Billy’s all, “Wait – what? You’re a cop? That’s the weakest shit I’ve heard all day.” And Kate corrects him all “Exsqueeze you, he’s a detective.” Then Billy’s like “Oh, I’m sorry, nephew. That’s the dumbest shit I’ve heard all day.”

Kay says that if he needed a job, she could’ve gotten him a nice safe one at CI, but Chance thinks sitting around pushing paper in an office all day is the lamest shit ever – no offense, Billy. Kate jumps all over that by commenting on how Mac feels the same way! Gosh, don’t they have so much in common!! They would be great together!!! And it’ll keep Mac away from the husband who doesn’t love you!!!! Excellent plan.

Sharin’s in the police station after being busted running out of the jewelry store with the replica of Phyllis’s ring still on her finger. Rafe is her public defender, I guess. Sharin called Jack but he’s so upset with her that she doesn’t even know if he’s gonna show up.

Kay and Kate send Chance off to school – uh – work, and Kate re-enters the living room to tell Mac how bad Chance has it for her. Mac didn’t pick up on it because she can actually see. Kate thinks she should jump on that, as there aren’t too many dudes that find girls wearing combat boots sexy. Mac looks like she’d love to fling her hot cup of coffee all in that broad’s face.

Kay gets her out of the room by saying that the spawn is awake, and off they go. Mac quickly walks over to Billy, angrily telling him that he’s putting everyone in an impossible situation by not coming clean about the two of them being together. Billy needs more time, but Mac’s tired of that excuse. He tries to cover his ass by saying that he keeps putting it off because Kate’s a psycho. He flees the situation to go check on Ashley.

Jack shows up. WHAT A SURPRISE. The actual surprise is him telling her that if she thinks he’s gonna wrap his arms around her and tell her what she wants to hear then she shoulda called Nick.

Her regular lawyer is out of town, so they’ll just have to call Michael, which Sharin shoots down after there was some incident with Eden and books? Damn, that sounds lame. They have to get her out of jail, but then what? Sharin only plans on making this a one time thing, and that’s all fine and good but Jack still thinks she needs to get some help. She mentions seeing a therapist, but Jack knows that she only saw the therapist once and not even for a full session. Sharin squawks about how she can’t believe he would go behind her back like that, but Jack cuts her off by asking if she wants to deliver her baby in jail, because if not then she better get some help.

At the police station, Sexual Chocolate and Chance walk into the booking room where Jack immediately recognizes Chance, who introduces himself as Nina’s son. Jack’s like “OMG, little Phillip!” and Chance corrects him with that whole ‘call me Chance’ thing.

Jack introduces Chance to Sharin who’s basically like “WTF cares? I’m in jail right now. Play catch up on your own damn time.” Let me just say right now that Sharon Case is killing me softly. I could make this whole recap off of pics of Sharin making crazy face.

At Kay’s place, Kate’s wrapping up a phone call and announces to Mac that she’s going to make her a star by putting her and Chance in Reckless Style. Girl, close your legs, your agenda is showing. Mac goes to take a walk before she dropkick’s her, and Kate leaves to check on the spawn when Victor arrives to inform Kay that Nikki left town. Kay tells him to cut the crap and admit that Nikki confessed her never ending, undying love for him and that it means something.

Nick shows up to the station where Jack tells him that she doesn’t need to be handheld right now, and he needs to make her see that she needs professional help cuz bitch got problems.

Sharin’s mad that Nick’s there and goes off about being rescued and how she doesn’t need help, even though she’s giving crazy eyes the whole time. Nick asks if he can see the ring before they take it to the evidence locker, and asks Rafe if he can speak to her alone.

Kate resumes her real career – stalking – by tracking down Mac at the coffee shop and telling her that she gets why she wouldn’t want to be in RS. She brings up Chance again and Mac is about ready to beat that ass until she has to confess that the reason she’s not into Chance is because Billy’s been into her. All night long.

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