Y&R Recap:Tuesday, July 21st, 2009

We open with Billy walking up to his sad niece and giving her a hug. They go to the gift shop to get Lily some magazines, and we pan over to Neil getting off the phone with Kay. He’s going to take a leave of absence from Chancellor Industries to be with Lily during all this. Lily interrupts by telling him he doesn’t have to, but Devon tells her not to argue–what’s done is done.

Mac finds LAB at the bus station and he won’t listen to her pleas to see Lily. She finally blurts out that Lily has cancer, and he looks surprised.

JT is on the phone with CC, asking how Lily is and how hungover she was from the other night. She had a pounding headache, but she’s glad he was there to rescue her. She’s really happy no one she knew was there to see her flash her chesticles. Oh, girl. Even knowing what’s gonna happen…oh, girl.

JT rushes to get off the phone when Vic comes into the room, in case she gets a rage flare up and backhands him right in the mouth. They’re off to lunch, but JT wants an audience with Victor later. They leave in time for Gloria and Jeff to walk in. they got their task done real quick-like, and they think they deserve a bonus added onto their check.

Victator just laughs and tells them they get no money until the job is completely done, and Jeff and Glo realize how much it sucks to be someone’s bitch.

Deacon!!! Gets off the phone and he’s not alone in the room. Q-Tip thinks it’s pretty funny that Daniel thinks Deacon wants to help him with his case. Deacon also hasn’t heard from Amber.

That’s because Hamber’s busy spilling her guts to Jana about Deacon. Jana says she needs to woman up and tell Daniel everything about her past with Deacon, just in time for Dan to walk in and ask what they’re talking about. Hamber plays it totally cool and damn near wets herself before telling him to grab them some coffee and a table outside for them to talk.

CC brings Billy in to see his ex-boo, and Lily sends her fam out so she can talk to them.

The Mane Event shows up at Billy’s trailer (lol), and Mac tells Cane that she doesn’t know much about what’s going on, just that she was in the room when Billy got the news. She’s not trying to get all up in his Kool Aid when she is unaware of the flavor, but if she were his girl, she’d want all the love and support she could get right now. Oh, Mac, don’t you worry. Just give it a few months and Cane’ll be hitting it from the Outback in no time.

WAB still doesn’t want to go to the hospital and keeps making excuse after excuse to Mac. Finally he shows how much he truly loves his wife by conceding to stay in town until they find out how Lily’s surgery goes. Oh, how we all wish we could find a love like that.

At the hospital, Billy’s busy sticking his foot down his throat as he attempts to console Lily. He offers to be Lily’s punching bag if she needs one, and Lily admits that she could use a guy like that right now.

Dan and Hamber are at the coffeehaus where she’s trying to confess until Deacon shows up. He calls her April, which you’ll only find amusing if you watched B&B about 5 years back (let’s just say it involves a porno tape, a twin, a nose ring, a midget, and a sock full of quarters). Hamber desperately tries to keep Dan and Deacon from talking and is a total obvious spaz in the process. Deacon really brings out the big guns when he mentions that he’s a single father, pulling out a picture of Little D.

Hamber goes all melty which, again, is one of those things that only make sense if you’re familiar with B&B. Let’s just say it involves who’s-the-daddy, a stillborn baby, a stolen baby, a big cover-up, cancer, and Usher. I’m not even kidding. Deacon makes sure to let them know what room he’s in at the Club before he takes off. It’s room 311, by the way, and I was damn near out the door of my own house until I remembered that I was watching this on Youtube. Dan calls Hamber out on being rude, and she spazzes something out about showing her designs to Lauren and leaves.

Glo’s talking to Kevin about getting an untraceable email address for an erotic scavenger hunt for Jeff, and Kev (and all of us, collectively) throws up in his mouth a little bit. He rolls over and does her bidding the way he and Michael do anyway.

Mane are still whining about what a bitch WAB is acting like before Mac has to go. Gloria gets her super secret email address, and uses it to send everyone at NE the video of Colleen sharing her pixelated ‘gifts,’ if you will.

Back in Lily’s room, it seems that the three of them are playing games on CC’s phone when Vikki calls. Billy laughs at SOMETHING Christel does off camera (I think she imitates Colleen’s flashing) but they quickly snap back into character in time for CC to have to peace out since Vikki’s just shat a brick outside of Victor’s office, leaving Lily and Billy very much alone.

LILLIAM!!!!!!

He asks what she’s thinking about, and it’s whether or not she’d know if the cancer spread. Billy brings up Ashley’s cancer and Olivia’s (word? I definitely missed that) and that they both had rough times but they got through it. Lily’s down because she doesn’t have a husband or a baby on the way to help her through it, and Billy reminds her that she has him and CC on her side. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Unfortunately, I have no good caps of the two of them together because Lily was the whole time.

Hamber is banging on the door at Deacon’s hotel room. she’s pissed at him for the low blow with Little D. Deacon had a lot of time to think while he was getting sober, and he realized that he missed who he was. Also, he can make Daniel’s life hell if she doesn’t bone him. So, there’s that.

Apparently Billy has some cool games on his phone as well, and they are adorable as Neil and Mac open the door to check up on Lily. Mac brings her some old movies and a laptop to watch them on, saying that she mentioned enjoying the films once. Billy asks if there’s any Hitchcock because he remembers how much she loves him (awwwwww!) and there is. Lily brings up Cane and Billy totally has this “Will you PLEASE stop bringing him up?” face going on.

Hamber and Deacon discuss her dating patterns and he repeats that he wants one night with her. At that point Hamber starts shrieking and can’t open the door as she tries to leave. I guess that’s a no, then. As my Boo Eric Northman would say, poorly played, Hamber. I think I’ve gone deaf – I get hazard pay for this, right? Deacon calls the cops with some information about a crime.

At CL, Q-Tip is talking to Jana, saying that he heard Kevin on the radio and his life hasn’t been easy either. Jana asks if he’d like to meet Kevin and he aw-shucks it up and says yes. Q-Tip is SO up to something, you can see it in the way his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

The fallout from BoobGate 09 starts, first with Kevin doubling back to watch the video, to Vic and JT arguing about it, to Victor seeing it and being all ‘damn, they DO work fast.’

Colleen shows up in time for JT to show her what the rest of the town is seeing, and for Victator to fire her ass on the spot. Oh, girl.

Hamber’s spazzing out again on an oblivious Daniel, who flashes back on LAB telling her to tell Daniel any secrets before he hears them from someone else. For some reason this makes her want to bone, but Dan’s crotch is saved by a knock on the door. Some special agents come to search the place, and head straight for the wall where they find that forged painting, and all this would probably be some huge revelation if I cared enough to pay attention to this storyline! Deacon sits back in his seat, sipping on his iced tea. Like a boss!

Billy thinks it’s sweet, what Mac did for Lily, and since it’s still his birthday he wants to celebrate it by going back to the trailer(lol) and having dinner. Mac suddenly feels the need to be around her family, even though she’s the one that brought up the fact that it’s still Billy’s birthday. He takes it well, saying that they can just get together tomorrow, while Mac looks away uncomfortably.

In the hospital room, Neil and Devon are sleeping while Lily watches Gilda and Cane cries like a bitch at the trailer, HAAAAAAAHAHA!

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