Y&R Recap. Tuesday, June 9th 2009.

It’s a new day and Sharin & Niclueless are still in bed romancing each other by talking about their significant others and how they need to dump their asses. The only thing Nick regrets is hurting Red. Sure Nick, sure. Talk is cheap and so are you.

Speaking of Red, she’s just waking up hoping desperately that the night before was just a horrible dream. Sex with Jack seems to do that to some women. Seeing Jack she realizes that it wasn’t a dream and thanks him for being there for her. He heads off and suddenly a figure appears from from behind the haystacks…

Meanwhile, in more uninteresting news, Daniel is talking to Jana on the phone in the studio of ArtZiness planning to go on his own undercover mission to get his painting back. As he’s heading out, Amber walks in and distracts him with a kiss.

Daniel pulls away from the kiss and gives some excuse about having to leave and Amber whines and whines about it being a celebration. He asks what stupid thing they’re celebrating today and it’s the fact that a year ago Katy Perry told Amber that she liked her designs. I think I speak for everyone when I say, WTF?

Daniel realizing that it’s best to play along, kisses her. Later in bed after, if their kisses are any indication, not-hot sex, they have boring pillow talk. Amber nods off and Daniel, seeing his chance gets the heck out of there.

Amber? He’s just not that into you.

Meanwhile the real Aucker is fitting Vikki “Boretoria” Newman with a wiretap.

JT walks into the house noting the situation. He wants to know what Victoria thinks she’s doing playing Charlie’s Angel. She tells him some nonsense about wanting to do it because Sabrina would have done it and … You know what? I don’t give a damn about these two. Sorry JT but you guys are a total borefest.

Over at the Ranch, Ash’s concerned because she can’t really feel the baby. She asks Adam if he’s bringing a doctor in not named Olivia and he says yes. As she heads upstairs, the doorbell rings and it’s Nikki. She wants to know why Adam straight up lied to her about Ashley being out with Jack. He tries to sputter out some excuse but she’s not having it. She wants to see Ashley. Right! Now!

As she’s heading upstairs she practically trips over one of his bloody towels (How did Ashley miss it?) but without looking at it, shoves it at him and continues on her way. He throws it in the fireplace and runs to open the door for his doctor “friend”.

Nikki and Ashley head back downstairs and Nikki gives Dr. Taylor the third degree because someone has to be the voice of reason. He gives her all his credentials before giving Ash her checkup. He tells her that she’s fine and so is the baby but Nikki isn’t buying any of it. She wants to call Olivia but Ashley’s decided that Liv’s on her “I hate your face” list and she doesn’t want to talk to her. Nikki give it up. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help herself.

Upstairs Dr. Taylor’s telling Adam about Ash’s miscarriage. Adam blackmails him into keeping it a secret. He leaves and Nikki has a quick chat with Adam. Realizing what an untrustworthy bastard Adam is, Nikki gives Victor a call.

Back at the tackhouse, MJ’s moved from behind the haystacks to see what’s up with Red. After quickly introducing Summer to MJ, Red tells her that Nick left her. Before she can continue with the sordid tale, Nick appears at the door. MJ heads out hoping that Red can work on her relationship but as she goes, Summer’s new teacher comes in.

And what do we have here! It’s Diversity time, boys and girls:

Summer’s new teacher Sarah is a big Phick fan, maybe the biggest Phick fan in the world. She gushes about their romance, shows them her Phick fanfiction and tells them that she wishes she had a love story like theirs! Sarah? Stop yourself.

After she gushes a little more she decides to go do her job and check in with Summer. Left alone, Nick & Red have another boring conversation where Nick acts like he’s an upstanding guy and Red acts like she has some pride.

Nick, realizing that Red doesn’t want anymore of his apologizes leaves and MJ looks on frustrated by the way Red’s handling things with her man.

Once he’s gone, Teacher Sarah tells Red that Summer’s been acting out in school: Throwing fits and fighting when she doesn’t get her way. Red’s all, “Sounds like normal behaviour to me.” Sarah shrugs and leaves with Summer.

Meanwhile, Jack’s meeting Sharin at the GCAC. At first she lies about where she was the night before but finally comes clean about the Nick situation. Jack admits that he already knew and he isn’t going to fight her about it because he lubs her very much. The violins of sadness play in the background as he tells her that he took a chance and he lost but if the baby is his then he’ll never accept another man raising it.

Suddenly Sharin feels the baby kicking. If she’s feeling anything, it’s her guilt … or her lunch. She makes Jack feel her stomach and after a particularly pained expression he gets up to leave. She thanks him for understanding (read: being such a little bitch) and he continues on his way.

Jack rushes back to Red’s house so that he can be consoled over this traumatizing experience, not realizing that MJ is watching his every move and getting more and more upset at Red and the surrounding wildlife.

As Red & Cryin’ Jack are in the middle of comforting each other about their loser like status, MJ’s favourite bird comes crashing through the window. When will these birds ever learn?

As MJ’s trying to make her get away, JT steps outside and sees her. He grabs her, demanding to know who she is and what she’s doing there. Well, she currently goes by the name Mary Jane and she was taking a walk, getting some fresh air, and killing some birds, JT. Got a prob?

Next on Y&R. Billy temporarily breaks free of Liam and …

and also…