Now, that the fun part’s over, I will attempt to make this as quick and as painless as I can. (Read: If I had to suffer through this Ish so do you!) So here we are again and another mind bending week has passed on Y&R. I apologize to the reader, because this will probably be the saddest weekly wrap ever. As per usual, I don’t really remember a damn thing that happened last week. Well that’s not true, but what I remember isn’t really worth the space that it takes up in my brain. I remember Phyllis and Jack had sex, while MJ watched outside, Nick and Sharon hitting the sheets for the umpteenth time, Billy and Lily were still on vacation, their pods were still in place, and everyone else did something or another and I just don’t care to say.
I swear to tell the truth the hold truth and nothing but the Delusional Truth, so help me DB’s.

The quad is still going, but a ray of sunshine has been dropped in their midst.
Jack, Phyllis, Sharon, and Nick did a little dance, made a little love, and bored the ISH out me. Once again the quad switched and then switched back again.
NTP (Read: Nick The Prick) left Red, supposedly for good this time so that he could run to St. Sharon, who although has been ridden harder and more often than a Thorough Bread down the home stretch of The Kentucky Derby, can do no wrong. Red called Crying Jack, who came over and told him to stop acting like a Horney Ostrich, and he was like, “what you gone do help me” and she was like “come to Big Red.” Bow Chicka Wow, Wow…

CJ (Read: Cryin Jack) cried some more and told Sharon that he didn’t care if she was a walking PSA; he loved her and wanted to marry her anyway. While STS (Read: ST. Sharon or Sexually Transmitted Sharon) told CJ that she was all in, that they could raise this baby together NTP be dammed. STS saw NTP at the GCAC and they got BUSY.

MJ has burst through this sorry show like a ray of sunshine, wimpled by gloomy clouds. MJ had a very busy week, she begged Victor to stay, talked to her Kitty, she joked with Red about Killing STS, and then she almost gave STS a beat down in the lobby of the GCAC. MJ is my kind of girl, now if only Kate would sleep with Jack, then we’d have ourselves a real party.

Go-Back Foods or the triangle that’s really not a triangle, but carousel with squashed Cactus seats, went round and round with no change. And are pain in the ass to watch!
Kate nagged Liam, basically calling him a punk. He told her that he was what he was, take or leave it, she was like I’m pathetic, of course I’ll take it. Then he was like, but I screwed Sharon and I have a one in three chance of winning the Baby Daddy lottery! So Kate left and Liam looked relieved. (Yeah right)

After two months, JT and Mac reunited, only to discuss Liam. JT agreed with Kate that Billy is a punk, but Mac was like, no he still has swag, but it’s buried deep, WAY down deep, and when he looses that Ho, it will come shinning through. Keep the faith Mac, keep the faith!!

Scooby Doo Gang the B-squad
The Scooby Doo gang rejects were at it again, and I came so close to grabbing a spoon and scooping out my brain. If I can’t have it, I sure as hell am not giving it to this crap. Can I sue MAB for mental abuse? O, right the recap, um something happened with the fake agent and a radio show, and that’s all I got. O yeah, Dana and Kamber 1.0’s will be coming to a screen near you this fall.

I don’t even know, I just don’t even know,
Fily turned twenty-two, and she didn’t know what the hell to do. She giggled in awe of everything, while pulling out a calendar to mark her sex days. This would have been fine and only a little sad, if Filly hadn’t pulled it out in front of her Dad! She then tried to warn Nina away, but the poor unfortunate child just didn’t know what to say. She just wants to ignore anything about EE’s past, not knowing that he’s making her look like a real DUMB ASS!!!

The Haunted Ranch
Adam punk ass continued to haunt Ashley, who was visited by Sabrina. Ashley tried talking to Olivia, but was afraid of the Gremlin that lived on top of her head. Later Adam’s punk ass dressed in drag and scared Ashley so badly, that she fell down the stairs. Adam is a BITCH and I EFFING hate this storyline!

STFU AWARD!

From Soap Art

Jack, I have loved you for almost twenty years, but you need to STFU! I am SOO sick of your crying ass. You walk around GC like your Ish don’t stink, except when you’re in the presence of STS. Then you drone on, with the same ass tired “Please baby Please,” all the while STS is looking at you like a tiger that’s spotted its next meal. She is using your dumb ass, but you can’t see straight for thinking with the wrong head. Jack you are a looser, you started with that tired ass diary scheme and you just keep getting lower. WHAT KIND OF MAN ARE YOU?? And how in the hell are you going to raise another mans baby, when you’re NOT even raising your own! You tricked stupid ass Liam into marrying that HO, just because you wanted him out of the way of Jabot, and then you take that HO’s side over his! S T F U, no one wants that that HO, if you want her you should have married the gold digging Skank. AND THEN you had the TEMERITY to be all up in Liam’s face about screwing STS, when you banged his Mama while she was married to your Daddy! You know John Abbot, the other Man who needs to STFU, and stay in the after life, unless he’s telling Liam to break his foot off in Kate’s non existent ass!! But I digress! Jack you are A FAILURE, A LOSER, A WEAKLING and P whipped to boot!! So put on your onesies, grab your bonnet, get your booties, don’t for get the wubby, now take your pacifier put it in you mouth, and STFU!!