Call It What You Want To, 5/22/09 Wrapped!

Well it’s that time again. It’s time to wrap up another week of Y&R. So it’s been two weeks since my last wrap and a few things have changed. No Fily is still as useless as ever, but she did get married, in a wedding that would have made the Coyote proud with the amount of anvils that were being dropped at the rehearsal dinner, wedding, AND reception. I wasn’t privy to covering the wedding “thank God” but I’m proud to bring you two days of the reception (well not really) followed by dry humping, day dreaming, parents in mourning , the Scooby Doo Gang and Mary Jane. There were some other things that happened, and I’ll get to that, IF I can remember what they were. Yall I am so proud of me, because I actually remember what happened, or at least I think I did. Hell, I watched the last three Episodes this morning and all I remember that Cassie is dead, Fethen were in bed and MJ’s going to cut off Jacks head.

So here it is my analysis, or Call it what you want to, longer than normal (too much stuff in one week) still sweet and always real!

I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but Delusional Truth, so help me DB’s.

This weeks wrap is brought to you buy Kraft Blue Cheese.

From Blogger Pictures

Get out your umbrellas its raining Anvils.

Fily and Evil Ethan celebrated their reunion with a reception and then a honeymoon. There was a running theme throughout of Lily telling EE how grateful she was to be married to such an honest guy, and how she feels so safe with him. How EE never lied, how EE would hurt her, how the sun shines out of EE’s ass and she’ll never need sunscreen. EE told Fily that it was because of her, that he was a changed man. That she changed him and his plans for world domination. “You always see the good in people”, EE is hoping that that’s true, but let’s face it we all know Fily! She may not see the anvils now, but once she does, she’ll be out of there, faster than you can say “beep, beep”. Analysis, Lily better get her some SFP75 cause when the ISH hits the fan, she’s going to get burned!!

Nina reminisced about P3! P3! Not knowing that he’s not (Read: IS) really a Chancellor. How complex P3! Was how much she missed P3! How P3 wasn’t switched at birth with Evil Ethan. How P3! P3! P3! P3! P3! Did stuff! All the while Chlamber (Read: Chloe and Amber always clambering after some man, because they are both pathetic, one worse than the other, you choose) sat listening and fueling the EE is a fake flames. Analysis, The writing was so heavy that only someone with their head in sand would need an analysis, and I don’t speak Ostrich!!!

Suprise, Suprise, We got some Screen time!

Paul is stalking MJ, and asking a lot of questions, while she’s bobbing and weaving like a Mike Tyson was against Evander Holyfield. MJ saw Jack and pretended that all was right as rain, but she’s one Bullet away from taking Sharon out. Analysis, Paul better be happy that he’s her brother or he’d loose more than an ear, are you listening Jack.

What a week for the Winters. Other than Fily getting married, Devon discovered from his real Aunt that Tired isn’t his aunt, and that his Bio-Dad never knew about him. Analysis, Tired is a lying ho and Devon’s been put on recurring so he’s got to go.

Neil after claiming that he was so in love with Karen, once again hit the sheets with Tired. I think they made it to a bed this time, IDK my trigger finger was in full effect, all I know is that they did the deed. Analysis, Neil doesn’t know that Ho from Evil Ethan, like father, like daughter.

The longest Quad in history continues.

Sharon and Jack continued to play house, both knowing what a complete sham it is, but still intending to go down this short path to Nowhere!! Sharon told Jack that she needs Nick, but he needs Belltones because he just wasn’t hearing the words coming out of her mouth. (Read: I don’t want you, and hope this isn’t your baby! Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, etc) Analysis, REALLY! Do you even need one!

Nick and Phyllis bumped uglies like always, followed by a talk about Sharon and how she needs him. Phyllis listened and tried to pull him from the edge, but Nick was insistent on going over it, everyone else be dammed. Because he his Nick Newman and his Ish don’t stink. Analysis, Nick is a prick and he needs to learn that there is some Ish, that your wife doesn’t want to hear!!!

Sharon and Phyllis had a good scene, where Sharon lied to Phyllis and herself about not wanting Nick. While Phyllis let herself be lied to because like Sharon, she is also an idiot when it comes to the Captain of the “SS I’M A Prick” Nick. Analysis, Sharon and Phyllis have great chem, they should dump their dead weights, become lesbians, and raise their children together.

Nick and Jack talked about Sharon. Where Nick continued his mantra of Sharon needs me to live, Sharon needs me to survive, Sharon can not live with out, Sharon is so hot, and I can’t wait to hit that again. Jack was all what the FOCK!! Analysis, See Phick !!

It has been four years sense Cassie’s death (although Summer’s about five) and while Nick & Sharon are in mourning, I just don’t feel that bad. I hated that character, she wouldn’t fit in today, and also if she’d been alive, we’d have missed all of the great acting over her death. So please take a moment of silence to thank Cassie for dying…………………………………………………..Moving on.

Sharon also had a scene with Liam, he was an asshole, enough said.

The Scooby Doo Gang

Daniel and Amber discussed how he’s not in love with her enough to want to marry her. She’s all, ‘my clock is ticking.’ and Daniels like, ‘WTF does that have to do with me?’ Note to Amber: Do NOT ask a man about marriage after he was just cozy with his first love, which he’d still be married to if it weren’t for YOU!! Who he still loves more than YOU and will never come close to loving YOU as much as HER, got it. Daniel is also working for the feds in storyline that so far has failed to hold my attention. Analysis, Daniel and Amber over, and I hope MG saw every script before he re-signed, because so far, this mess isn’t worth his time.

Jana and Kevin discussed how he was a standup guy and Liam was a jerk and it’s not like Kevin tried killing someone he loved. Jana was all you’re perfect and Kevin was like, I love how you lie to me. Analysis, they are both crazy!

The Worst Tri-In Soap History!!

It’s hard to have a tri when the two females have more chemistry with each other, than either has with the male, and it’s not a LESBIAN love story.

Liam and Kate did what they do best; they played around like two BFF’s who know that they should never try to be any thing more. Of course that was ruined by the dry humping, but Liam must have had better (Read: Miss Freaky) because it wasn’t long before he was sniffing around Mac. Analysis, Liam is a dirty dog and Kate deserves just what she’s getting. Once question, WHO in the HELL, believes that Liam loves Kate and vice versa, please raise your hands. That’s what I thought moving on!!

Kate and Mac bonded over what a loser Liam is, and Kate really believes that Mac doesn’t want Liam. Mac was all, “I had this serious relationship while I was in Darfur”, and I’m like hmm, why is it that I’ve never got an inkling of this before, but Kate’s all “Hallelujah Praise Be”. Analysis, Mac wants Liam, and it doesn’t take a psychic to knows this, only someone with common sense, which Kate doesn’t seem to have.

Mac and Liam, did their dry dance again, he chased her, she shut him down, he said “I’m God’s gift to women,” she said “Bitch Please,” while I was thinking “get it on, so you can move ON”. Raul showed up, and was the guy who Mac protested too much about to Kate, and laid a kiss on her in front of Liam, who stood their with his ___ in his hands. Analysis, Mac is NOT in love with Raul, if she were, she would have been daydreaming about him and NOT Liam!!! Liam needs to get over himself, because he was a real asshole this week and the ONLY reason he’s not getting the coveted STFU award, is because of Kate and US!!!!

STFU AWARD

From Blogger Pictures

Kate it’s been a LONG time coming, but I have finally paid attention to you long enough to where I can present you with this most awesome reward. Kate STFU!!! I am so sick of your whiny ass, boo hoo poor lil me, I went to a boarding school with rich kids, and I went to college without taking out loans, yall should feel bad for me mantra. Bitch please, you need to STFU and look at the world outside your window. Kate you are SOOO PATHETIC, why the hell are you chasing a man who is so obviously in love with another woman! O but he loves you more than he’s letting on, O REALLY, was that when he was hovering over your hospital bed when you almost died? Or was that when he asked Lily in the middle of your labor how she was doing, while he took his sweet ass time going to find help for you? Or maybe it was when he was screwing Sharon the night before your wedding and many nights after that!! But he loves you. Again, Bitch please. WTF are you smoking, because it must be some good Ish for you to think that Liam is in love with you. AND IF by some twist of the pen, they try to make that true, NOT even an Ostrich would buy that!! So Kate, again, STFU, because he don’t love you Ho. He loves a Ho alright and his name is Liam. NOW Kate, WHY in the Hell, are you whining to Mac, asking why she just can’t give you a day? Why should she? WTF have you done in your tired ass life to deserve Mac not up in your ISH 247? NOTHING, that’s what! You lied about the spawn, helped to break up Fily and Fillip (EE was Fillip back in the day), you were ALL up in Filly’s (Who you had the NERVE to attempt to apologize to, WTF EVA HO!) face about you being Phillips wife singing the same damn song again, but this time to Mac. You keep opening that garbage can of yours, spewing your trash, which no one cares to, or wants to hear. Like that BS about how “you don’t like humiliating yourself, because that’s not you.” There isn’t a DAMN thing on MY screen or ANYONE else’s that belies that fact. Trick you humiliated yourself when you said that stupid Ish, even Amber was looking at you like Bitch please, your dumb ass is worse than me. Kate you need to STFU. Your mamma knows it, the spawn knows it, Liam knows it, and EVERYONE including YOU knows it. But this will be hard for you, so here’s what you do, go down to Pet Smart buy a muzzle and use it, because that is the ONLY way that it is guaranteed that you will STFU!!!!!!!

Ash