Y&R Recap. Thursday, May 21st 2009

Kate’s talking to Baby D about her missing all the action that went down the night before. Please get some friends Kate. D has to listen to this crap in real time – does she have to hear about it when she‘s been away too?

Jack comes in looking for Liam but he finds out that Liam just went off on a “special work assignment”. Jack looks at Kate as if she’s possibly the dumbest chick he’s ever seen but goes along with it anyway. After looking around the fuchsia room, he tells her that she has great taste and she thanks him, not realizing that Jackie’s suffering from colour blindness.

Kate, who must have mugged a bag lady, is wearing a lace see through top over a black bra and a chunky plastic necklace. Fashionista WHAT? She thanks Jack for talking to Liam at Jimmy’s and he tells her that he didn’t really say anything. The two agree that Billy does the impulsive thing first without thinking about what happens afterwards, which coming from these two … Mr & Mrs. Pot, let me introduce you to Sir Kettle.

Paul’s at MJ’s hotel room door taking a page from Liam’s book and getting his stalk on. He asks her to have lunch with him because he’s sure he’s seen her before. She hems and haws but finally relents when Paul doesn’t take no for an answer. They go to dine in the AC dining room so that Paul can interrogate her some more.

Downstairs, MJ has gloriously donned a pair of movie star sunglasses big enough to cover half her face because after spending thousands on plastic surgery the sunglasses will really put her over the top. Paul asks her where she’s from. She tells him NY. Is that her home base? Nope, it’s a tiny little town called Eustis, Nebraska. Where she’d go to college? An all girls’ school. Was she once a man? Does she sniff glue? Coke or Pepsi? And she giggles at his ridiculousness but unfortunately for her Paul knows that laugh!

MJ seeing that no pair of sunglasses will deter an inquisitive Paul Williams feigns a headache and leaves. In her room, she checks in with TGVN and downstairs Paul calls in to get a background check on this obvious impostor.

Summer has given Nick and Big Red a picture of their family over at RS, which makes him think of Cassie and the good ol’ days. He’s having a tough time of it; sometimes he can’t believe Cassie’s gone. Red wants to take the pain away but Nick is fine. Red gave him Summer and that’s enough! Red tells him that they’re married and she can handle anything he’s going through. She wants to know what’s bothering him. She wants him to talk to her.

Except what clueless Nicky wants to talk about is Sharin. Red’s like, “So, when I said I wanted you to tell me how you were feeling I meant, let’s talk about ME and MY needs.” But Nick won’t be deterred from his favourite subject. He regrets his behaviour, leaving Sharin to deal with the Cassie stuff alone. If he hadn’t been such a dick, maybe Sharin wouldn’t be the way she is now. Red’s all, “You’re a different man from the one that slept with Sharin twice last month. You wouldn’t leave your family for a tenth time. Nine maybe. But ten?”

He agrees and this time he’s not going to sit back and let Sharin deal with everything by herself. Nick, you see is going to bring Sharin “back” because he’s so damn awesome. Red’s all, “Bitch – you aren’t her HUSBAND. You’re my husband. MY HUSBAND.” She tells him that Sharin might actually want to move on (*scoff*) and he’s not letting her do that by always being around. Besides what about Red? Why, she’s just as needy as Sharin!

Meanwhile, at the Abbott Abode Sharin is upset thinking about Cassie when Liam walks into the room. Liam is thankfully wearing hair product today and he may have even taken a bath. Seeing Sharin crying, he asks if she and Jack are okay and she tells him that they’re fine; she’s crying over her many other issues. She asks him if her being in the house makes him uncomfortable and he wonders why she’s asking a question she already knows the answer to.

He wants them to keep it all quiet. The truth should come out only and he means ONLY if he’s the father. Instead of telling him that there’s a third contender in the baby sweepstakes – It’s not like Liam has any room to judge – Sharin tells him that Jack knows she was with someone else, just not Liam.

Liam tells her that if the baby is his he will love it but this is not the ideal situation for him because Jackie’s like a father to him and he loves him. You should have thought about that before you let your penis do all of the talking Liam. He tells her that he hopes Jackie never finds out about them just as Jackie walks into the room.

Jack’s all, “I smell shadiness” and Liam bounces before he can confess to anything. When he’s gone, Jack and Sharin have a heart to heart where he tells her that she’s a good person and she’ll be a wonderful mother. He thinks that this 100th time around they’ll really make it work!

That is if she doesn’t tell Nick that he could be the father. Nick has Summer and Red and if she tells him that he‘s the father and he isn‘t, then she would have ruined lives for nothing. Sharin tells Jack that she needs Nick right now. He’s the only one that knows the pain of losing Cassie. Jack still thinks it’s a bad idea and Sharin finally agrees.

Back at Not!Vogue, Nick is avoiding his conversation with Red by looking over Summer‘s drawings. Red brings up the idea of a family vacation but Nick puts it off. He needs a couple more days to figure things out. The first order of business is to decide which family he’s actually bringing on vacation. Red kisses him and goes off to do some errands and as soon as she leaves, Nick drops Summer like a hot potato. Because when the mouse is away, the douche will play. He calls Sharin but she doesn’t pick up the phone. For now.

Back at the fuchsia pool house, Kate discovers that nuMac called Liam’s phone and she goes off to make trouble. Meanwhile, the current bane of Kate’s existence is reliving the good old days – listening to her and Liam wailing drunkenly on her stereo. At least, I hope they were drunk.

Everyone is getting ready for the barbecue – pool floating devices and all – when Mac tells Kay that seeing Liam this unhappy is really hard. Even if he left Kate, he’d still be miserable because he’d miss the kid and feel like he let her down.

Kate having already booked it over, walks in looking for Liam and it’s like a face-off of ugly when her lace shirt meets nuMac’s patterned tube dress. To Kate’s surprise, Liam’s not there. Yet. But this is the perfect time for Kate and nuMac to have a little chat. Kay and the baby make themselves scarce and Kate gets to it.

She tells nuMac that if that if it weren’t for Baby D she wouldn’t even be humiliating herself like this she’d just say to hell with them both. Oh, that is rich. VALENTINE, that is rich! So now she’s only with Liam for the baby, is it? She trucked her ass up a mountain in a blizzard to stalk him when she was about to give birth because the baby was SO important then. If she thinks anyone but Mac is buying what she’s selling, she is fooling herself. First, you don’t need a man to raise a baby and secondly, Liam doesn’t need to be married to her to be in D’s life.

So Kate dear, let me give you some advice. If you don’t like humiliating yourself like this:
GET A DIVORCE OR STFU! Have a nice day.

NuMac informs her that what she really misses is her friendship with Liam. “More than the sex?” Kate inserts and NuMac tells her that there was no sex in the champagne room, just in her dreams, which Kate just can’t, can’t (!) imagine. Finally, to shut her up, Mac drops the bomb that she was seriously involved with someone else until very recently. Some do-gooder in Darfur – because nothing says sexy time like a civil war.

Liam seeing the missed nuMac call as some kind of invitation goes over to the house and sees that Kate and Baby D are already there. He overhears her telling nuMac to bring a date to the barbeque – maybe that guy she was talking about earlier! She’s all, “Why don’t you write him? Call him? Take a jet out to see him? Huh? Huh? HUH?” And nuMac’s like, “I’m not desperate like you, Kate.” Inside Kate hears a door close but doesn’t realize that it’s Liam going off to cry about this new discovery.

He walks into the fuchsia pool house but his tears must wait because Jackie is waiting for him. Jack tells him that Sharin told him what they talked about and Liam puffs out his chest like he’s ready to get bitch slapped. Unfortunately, Jack just thanks him for looking out for him and Liam feels like even more of a tool. Jack tells him that he knows the kid might not be his but he wants Sharin and the baby in his life. Liam contemplates letting him have Kate and Baby D as well but instead tells his brother that Sharin’s baby couldn’t have a better father. They hug ignoring all signs of impending doom.

Next on Y&R: Mac tells Kay about her do-gooder lover … and Raul returns. Also…