Y&R Recap Wednesday, May 13th 2009

Victoria, who is miserable for no reason, spent her day going around town spreading her own brand of love (read: hate). Her first victim, ADA! Heather. Stupid ADA! Heather has been sipping the same helium that Fily has, and was speaking about hearts, and flowers, and unicorns, and her relationship with Adam. You see guys, Adumb is a changed man. What good man wouldn’t jump at the chance to make a pregnant women think she’s going insane? The MVP of Team Hate, Victoria, shut ADA! Heather down real quick though, and let her know that Adumb was playing her for a fool.

Hater #1’s next victim was young Colleen Carlton. You see, just because Uncle Jackie has filled her head with nonsense, Colleen thinks she’s a real business woman. But just like with ADA! Heather, Hater #1 shut that down real quick. Sure both Colleen and Hater #1 may have been unqualified for their first jobs in the business world, but at this point Hater #1 has earned her keep, and Colleen has a while to go before she’s truly ready to tackle the big dogs, i.e. Hater #1.

Hater #1’s third victim was Smilin’ Jack himself. She tried to call old Smilin’ Jack out on his blatant use of Colleen. But Smilin Jack has no shame in his game, and he was all, “Yeah, I’m playing the hell out of Colleen, just like I played Billy and Adumb. So What?” Hater #1 was at a loss for words, because she expected to bring down Smilin’ Jack’s mood, just like all the other people she hated on. No dice Hater #1, you’ll have to find a new victim…

After failing to bring Smilin’ Jack down, Hater #1 went closer to home for her final victim. Nikki has finally dared to cut the strings she’s got permenantly attached to TGVN (well kind of, well not really), by accepting Paul’s proposal, but of course Hater #1 had to rain on Nikki’s parade, and point out the obvious. Hater #1, of course Nikki wouldn’t be marrying Paul if the Mustache was available. Why must you play your mother like this?

Speaking of Paul…

After Nikki accepted his proposal, she let him know that she had to tell Victor. Yeah, I don’t get it, and neither did Paul. Paul, please open your eyes. Nikki will drop you like a bad habit the moment the Mustache is available. Paul had one ‘huh?’ moment after the next though, because right after Nikki let him know that she just had to run off to Victor, Paul’s idiot daughter came by with her own foolishness.

ADA! Heather let her father know the great news that she was back together with Adumb. Yeah, I don’t get it either. Let’s see how Paul took the great news…

Umm… I don’t think Paul is happy. Paul, why aren’t you happy for your little ADA! Heather. Adumb will be good for her. Paul, Adumb is a changed man. Really, he is.

Let’s see just how changed Adumb is…

Hmm…what’s he doing with that tape recorder?

Planting it in the laundry? Why Adumb?

Ahhh, I get it. Adumb, you’re trying to set up Estella. You naughty boy you.

Of course setting up the hired help isn’t enough for Adumb, this is all part of his greater plan to drive Ashley crazy, in order to…? I don’t know, make the Mustache crazy?

Poor Ashley still doesn’t believe that it’s Adumb who’s doing all of this to her. Not even when he’s standing there, looking guilty as hell.

See, Ashley, it’s quite obvious that Adumb is the one playing you for a fool. Even Abby, who only pops up in the house about once a month, realizes this.

Ashley, listen to your daughter. She’s a little Valley, but apparently, she’s the only person at Ye Olde Newman Ranch who has a brain.

And it appears Ashley will have to learn the hard way not to trust Adumb.

So will ADA! Heather…

Seems like the only way ADA! Heather knows how to get Adumb’s attention is to give him some. Based on his expression, though, I don’t think it’s working anymore.

Heather and Ashley shouldn’t feel bad, though. They aren’t the only ladies in GC who are getting played, there’s Colleen…

Colleen, I’ll tell you like I told Heather and Ashley, open your eyes. Smilin’ Jack is P-L-A-Y-I-N-G you. And while we’re on the subject, Colleen if you want to be on the Newman Board, that’s cool. But please stop acting like Brad was some innocent martyr. Brad got where he was by sleeping his way to the top. Colleen, your daddy was a ho. That house you’re living in? It was supposed to be for Paul. So CC, please stop with the ‘Brad was a innocent man’ act.

Again, why is young Abby the only one with a brain? Moving on.

Nikki isn’t getting played, but she’s definitely playing herself…

Nikki, I’m tired of you making a fool of yourself when it comes to Victor. The man has shown you time after time that you will not be first in his life. That honor goes to Jack. So Nikki, move on with Paul. I know he’s kind of boring, but the man will treat you right. Let Victor go. Don’t listen to your Hater daughter. Please. Stop. Going. To. Victor. You look foolish.

And the GC trio who are getting played the hardest? Jill, Glo, and Jeff…

After finding out they’re broke and stranded in the Cayman Islands, the three stooges come up with the bright idea to call Victor and convince him to come to their rescue. Yeah, I don’t get it either. Let’s see how well that plan worked out for them…

Hmmm…just like I thought. Fools, the Mustache don’t love y’all hos.

Before we go, the Diversity Campaign has a little something special for you…

Yeah y’all, the person of color got a speaking role! I’m shocked too.

Next on the Young and the Restless…