See what good loving can do for you. Jill is slightly less bitter these days. I actually think I see a smile y’all!

Over at Ye Olde Newman Ranch…

Adumb was doing his usual moping around the ranch, he probably just got finished planting Sabrina related crap around the house. You know he’s the one setting up Mama Ashley. While taking a break from his dastardly deeds though, Adumb happened upon a conversation between The Mustache, and his other dope of a son, Niclueless.

Still salty over Neil’s move to Chancellor Industries, The Mustache offers Neil’s old job to Niclueless. Yeah, I don’t get it either. Phyllis tried to warn Niclueless, but if dummy takes this job, we all know how it will play out. As soon a Niclueless steps out of line, Victor will smite him and fire him, and Adumb will become the favorite son again. Don’t do it Niclueless. Don’t do it. Oh wait, look who I’m talking to. You know he’s going to do it.

Adumb was a little down after hearing The Mustache say that he intended to leave Newman Enterprises to his children, you know, his real ones, Vikki N. and Niclueless. So Rafe came over to cheer up his boo.

Rafe was busy trying to convince Adumb that they would make a handsome couple. But Adumb was busy thinking about how all of his little schemes are falling through. The fake blindness is softening up The Mustache as much as Adumb thought it would. And driving Ashley crazy might be working a little too well.

Now that Adumb’s realizing his dastardly plans aren’t working, he’s thinking that there may be some use for Rafe afterall. Adumb needs to get off of the ranch before the jig is up y’all. And if ADA! Heather can’t get him released, then Adumb will have to use what he has to get what he needs, and see if Rafe can get the job done. Otherwise, The Mustache will smite him.

Speaking of being smited, Sharin is having her own problems…

At the GCAC, Sharin was having a little trip down memory lane, the about how this baby she’s carrying got made.

Why are tiic even doing this? We all know that nine times out of ten, old Niclueless will be the father of this baby. I mean, he’s the only potential father that doesn’t know he’s a potential father. Case in point, check out Sharin giving Jack the happy news,

As soon as he hears the word ‘baby’ Jack starts to grinning like an idiot. Fool, please stop with the baby obsession. You have two sons already. Find them. One of your sons is being raised by a crazy, and Jack, what are you doing? Making babies with one crazy, and talking your brother into marrying another. Oh you silly Abbott men, tricks are for kids.

Jack may be a little pathetic when it comes to Sharon, but his pathetic-ness has nothing on baby bro Liam’s bitchassness…

Liam was doing that whining and bitching thing he’s been doing a lot lately. And Jack was busy not giving a damn. See, Liam was under the misguided impression that Jackie would give him some responsibility at Jabot. Liam, you suffer the same fate as Adumb. You do not have the same mother as the rest of the Abbotts, therefore, you will never be as important as them. It’s unfortunate, but it is what it is. Stop crying Liam, and move on.

I see Liam didn’t take our advice. He’s still crying about not being in charge of Jabot. Liam, you are a drunk and a whore, you do not need to be in charge of a company. You let Jack play the hell out of you (another thing you have in common with Adumb), when you let Smilin’ Jack talk you into marrying Kate. Find yourself another job, before Jackie finds out you are the other possible baby daddy of Sharin’s little miracle.

The Abbotts are having a hard time, so you know what that means. Ghost John is back dispensing more of his useless advice.

After hearing what his ghost dad had to say, Liam decided that it was in fact time to get out of dodge, so he decided to ask his former grandmother for a job. Liam didn’t want just any job though, he wanted to be CEO of Chancellor Industries. Liam, didn’t we discuss this already? Know your role. In your current state, you are not fit to run a company. Check back when you pull yourself together.

Liam really is a glutton for punishment. After being shot down by Katherine, Liam tried to get a job with The Mustache, but of course the Mustache told him Hell NO! Liam, you are damaged goods. The mustache has no use for you now. When he needed you to be a pawn, you wouldn’t bite, so he got crazy Mary Jane to do his dirty work for him. Maybe next time Little Black Sheep (thanks Jill!), maybe next time.

Things that happened on the show, but were too boring to get the full treatment:
Kevin had a welcome home party at Crimson Lights
Katherine is meeting with the governor
The three stooges (Jill, Gloria, and Jeffrey) are preparing to take the Mustache down
Ashley accused the housekeeper from hell (read, Estella) of trying to set her up
Phyllis was again begging Nick to put her first. Fat chance Big Red, fat chance.

Next time on the Young and the Restless…