Y&R Recap. Thursday, April 30th 2009

This recap is brought to you by Esther’s bitchface!

Kay’s getting married in the morning ding-dong the bells are gonna chime. Kay, Nikki, Esther, Amber and NuMac (+ weave) are preparing for Kay’s wedding. NuWeave tells Amber that the reverend’s sick and can’t perform the ceremony. Amber has a friend who’s an Elvis impersonator in Vegas – of course – so problem solved. NuWeave is like, “Umm, I’ll find someone else, freak.” She checks her list and notes that Kate & Billy haven’t RSVP’d but Amber is sure they’ll be there. NuWeave pretends to care about any of it.

Sidenote: Dear wardrobe, if you’re trying to make NuWeave look like she isn’t 40, next time you might want to consider dressing her in something that isn’t in Kay’s closet.

Billy is playing stalker and waiting outside the Chancellor mansion but before he can fully get his stalk on, Kate calls him asking him to buy diapers. He’s all “I hate you,” and hangs up. He rings the doorbell and NuWeave answers. She asks, “How many seats do you need for the wedding?” And his answer is: “Table for one, please.”

He gives the excuse that Kate’s sick – she actually is – and NuWeave attempting to feel, well, anything tells him that she hopes Kate feels better. Billy looks over the guest list and is unimpressed that Fillip is going to be there. NuWeave explains that Kay doesn’t hold Fillip’s refusal of her job offer against him. She goes on to tell Billy how much she respects that refusal.

When it comes down to it they have a lot in common. They both didn’t know their true identities for a while. He bought a dive bar. She intends to work at one. He doesn’t do the corporate thing. She doesn’t do the corporate thing. Why they’d make the perfect team!

Anyway, NuWeave thinks she could be of better use to someone outside of the corporate world. Her choice, then, to sling drinks at a hole in the wall makes total sense. Because charity starts at … drink number five.

Amber walks into the room, showing off that brain of hers, “You’re not Murphy,” she tells Billy. I know he’s not exactly bringing sexy back these days, Amber, but let’s not get carried away. On his way out, Mac tells Billy that she hopes Kate gets better. Amber asks about her friend’s condition and Billy’s response is, “I’m sure she’ll live.” I don’t know about anyone else but I’m feeling the love.

Billy comes home with the diapers and antibiotics and tries to talk Kate out of going to the wedding. She’s not having any of it. She asks him to admit that he doesn’t want her along and he’s like, “You got it on the first try!” However, he ends up telling NuWeave to add another seat for Kate.

Over at the GC police station, Paul has brought in Annie & Roger Wilkes. Heather bitchfaces and tells the pair what charges they’re looking at but Mikey interrupts claiming that they’re his clients. He negotiates with the pair and gets all the information he needs about Kevin but Heather doesn’t want to hear any of it because as we all know, ADA Heather doesn’t give a damn about witnesses, evidence or the law.

Fillip: I missed you, bunny.
Fily: Awwwwwwwww!
Fillip: I’m just making up for all that lost time when I kept bailing on you over and over and over and over again for Kate and Cordelia. Ohandwhenyouweresexingupmybrother.
Fily: I’m sorry that I enjoyed myself. Umm, I mean…That is to say …
Fillip: Anyway, now that I have you and this bar, my life is absolutely perfect.
Fily: No. We’re perfect! And I can’t wait to start a family of mini sanctimonious airheads with you!
Fillip: Gosh, we’re nauseating!
Fily: Awwwwwwww. WE SO ARE!

God. When you really need the chipmunk to bust a cap in someone’s ass, he’s never around.

Jill walks into the bar interrupting this very special moment and she’s whining about Katherine as per usual. Fillip tries to placate her but she continues to whine. Fily’s brain temporarily switches on and she leaves, realizing that this isn’t a conversation she wants to be a part of. Fillip implores his Mommy Dearest to go to the wedding but Jill refuses. She can’t give her heart again, especially if it would mean rejection.

Taking a break from wedding planning NuWeave walks into Fillip’s dive bar looking for work. Fillip doesn’t even have to look at the application to know that she’s the right person for the job. Her weave emotes for her, Fillip gives her blue steel and Cupid draws his arrow.

At some point Nikki & Paul have a conversation about Jill. Jill and Nikki have a conversation about going to the wedding and Esther goes off on Roger. I’m pretty sure I zoned out on all of it so …

Next on Y&R: Sharon and Nick continue to act like fourteen year olds. MJ tells Victor she’s getting “closer” to Jack which probably means she‘s loading her gun and…