So I have been charged with the blood curdling task of wrapping up Y&R for the week. Unlike my talented Cohorts who spent hours putting their blogs together by providing catchy screen caps, I would probably kill myself, if I have to go through the process of watching this show again. I hadn’t watched Y&R all week, and today on Sunday, a day of piece and relaxation, I chose to torture. I waited as long as I could, but jumped in with both feet and almost drown in a sea of BS! Unfortunately I lived, and now I have to relay to you lucky people who were spared the agony of watching this crap fest, the daily’s for the week. For those of you who are really interested in the details, I apologize, because although I only finished watching the show a few hours ago I don’t remember a thing. But alas, I though that this might happen since my brain has an automatic garbage disposal, so I took notes as I watched and picked out a few things that caught my interest. But let me honest, since this is the Delusional truth! I may as well tell the truth, which is that I only found three things interesting, and sadly enough that Chipmunk was one of them, while the rest is filler. So if some days seem longer than others, it’s probably because my eyes were actually somewhat focused enough for me the type.

So here is my wrap up, analysis or whatever the hello you want to call. And I swear to the truth, the whole truth and the complete Delusional truth, so help me DB’S.

Victor/Heather/Adam
1. What ADA personally deals with petty robbery charges? O yeah that would be the most useless DA in the history of television, also known as Heather Stephens AKA I don’t know how to STFU!

2. LMAO, Victor talking about Heather as if she’s not even there. Heather didn’t you get the memo that you are NOT wanted; you know the other day when Victor slammed the door in your face? He doesn’t want you in his house and I don’t want you on my screen. Victor to Heather “You are utterly incompetent,” SO BOUNCE Bitch BOUNCE!!!

3. Adam wants to write his memories and I have been given an advance peak at the title. “Memories of an Idiot, that no one will buy or read because I am an idiot.” I think its bit long but it has a nice ring to it.

Kevin, Amber, and Theodore
4. Favorite quote from Tuesday: Chipmunk “She believes in you, but you believe in me, right zombie boy.” I choose this quote because it was the most intelligent thing anyone said the entire EP.

5. Why does Amber look like the town tramp, and can someone buy her a comb? She and Daniel looked as if there one step away from buying Murphy’s trailer.

6. Kevin probably wanted to see Amber because her voice would blend in and then drown the chipmunk out. Although I have to admit that for me it was the best scene on Tuesday.

7. Where in the hell are the Doctors? They know that Kevin is seeing things so the orderly “get a straight jacket he’s agitated” comment was ridiculous. I don’t even know what to say, but MAB you are a HACK!!

8. Kevin was channeling Houdini as he launched himself out the back of a moving vehicle, while wearing a straight jacket, and unlocking the doors, all the will humming Chipmunk Fever.

Sharon/Phyliss/Nick
9. Sharon could you please stop your whining and get some help, and stop telling people who aren’t qualified to HELP YOU!!!

10. Phyllis you are just as pathetic as Chloe, WHY are you hanging on to man who doesn’t want you?

11. Nick”wank wank wa wa wank wank” please just STHU and grow a pair you pansy.

Lily/Cane
12. What twenty-one year old want to have dinner and go dancing at a place called the Colonnade Room? The name of the place alone produces visions of Kay and Murphy and The Cast of Cocoon swaying to the sounds of Perry Como.

13. Okay, did someone miss place Lily’s brain? Tom Castillo take the Wheel and drive this Fily to the nut house where Kevin’s staying, I think that Chipmunk swiped her brain along with Kevin’s sanity. I swear she was one step away from sniffing Cane and wagging her tail.

14. LMAO, Cane going back to his roots as a bartender? Really Cane, your loyalty to your fathers legacy is just astounding, you where all up in Jabot, but your marked indifference to a CI is has I am NOT Phillip Chancellor written all over it.

15. “I hear Fily wants a baby But, Fily’s barely got a brain, am I the only one, who thinks the storyline is lame?”

Billy/Chloe/Mac
16. What the hell was the costume designer thinking when she put Mac in that terrible dress? It’s like she was swallowed by a purple monster with zits, perhaps it’s cousins with the orange monster at Brady Bunch house?

17. LMAO Lily says that she’s going back into modeling and Chloe says “I’ll be your stylist”, and then Phyllis quips “but don’t let that color your opinion”

18. Um Chloe Wake the hell up, are you just that blind that you are the ONLY person who can’t see that Nick and Phyllis’s marriage is on the rocks. BUT then again you are under the misguided, psychotic, imaginary assumption that your marriage is perfect. Note to Woe, your marriage is a SHAM now you know, let’s all move on.

19. Where the Hell is Billy, and why is Liam even aloud to live? Someone please put him out of his misery, which translates into to two bullets with names Kate and Delia on them.
20. “What are we going to do with your daddy?” Um IDK get some self respect and leave him. Chloe WTF, why are you taking a baby in a bar? The sad thing is that this trick doesn’t think that anything is wrong?
21. The Bane scene was cute, Liam was NOT! Although I’m clueless as to why Cane looked like an extra from Grease? Cane is walking around town and I can’t take him serious because I feel in at any moment he’s going to burst out in “Grease Lightening go Grease Lightening.”

Karen/Neil/ Tyra Devon
22. Neil backstabbed Karen over wanting to adopt Anna while whining the entire time. “O, I didn’t know, I though that I could just shit on you and you would be as forgiving as Fily.

23. Devon just shut the HELL UP!! “I don’t want to see Tyra get hurt.” After what that Ho did, bitch please. Just shut you useless ass up, you, your sister, and Tired can talk yall happy Hamilton asses out of town!

24. Can I PLEASE stab Tyra? Tell me where the hell is Sheila Carter when you need her????

25. Best scene on Monday goes to Karen for slapping the taste out of Neil’s mouth; now if she would have only kneed him in the balls. O wait, he’d have to have some, so the slap did just nicely.

This weeks STFU performance goes to Neil Winters.

It was a hard choice, since both Lily and Heather also needed to just SDASTFU! But after thinking about it for a few minutes, I decided that to go with Neil, since he probably will not have anything to say for another month or so, that will be worth me easing my trigger finger off of the FF button to hear it. Neil you are a freaking coward, and your sorry ass excuses are just that, sorry. You claim to “love” Karen, but you stabbed her in the back without blinking an eye. If that’s the kind of love that you’re giving then I hope that Tired Tyra The Wonder HO accepts you with open arms. You have the audacity to walk around like your ish don’t stank, when the truth is you smell worse than Pepi la Peu! Why don’t you just do the world a favor and continue to kiss Victor ass, maybe if your lips were other wise occupied you wouldn’t be free to spew your stupidity. So again Neil Winters congratulations and STFU!!!

That’s a wrap!

Ash