Y&R Recap. Monday, April 20th 2009.

We open up to Jack reading Restless Style at the club. Ash sits down beside him, brushing off his concern about her morning sickness. They discuss the RS article (read: Jill’s a shrew) and Jack chuckles about her not having an inheritance or a mother. He admits that he’s already bought front row seats to watch her head explode after she reads the article and Ashley’s like “why pay when you can watch for free?” pointing out Jill who is just walking into the club.

Jill walks over to Fillip, who is sucking on his bottle waiting for mommy, and orders a drink at the bar. Noticing the bourbon order, he commiserates, “So you’re still unemployed huh?” and she states that it’s okay, at least she can add one more name to her five thousand person list of people who “will someday learn not to cross Jill Abbott”. She looks over at the Abbott siblings and wonders why Fillip’s not at Jabot. Fillip admits, “I don’t do work anymore. And it’s the best decision I’ve ever made because now I can spend more time with you!”

She asks how it’s going to look to a judge that Fillip’s unemployed and he’s all, “It’s going to look like I’m principled.” And you can bet that somewhere in his mind, Fillip thinks he’s some sort of super hero and his name is Principles Man. His eyes turn to blue steel and he steals babies away from their bio parents. That’s the Principles Man way. Anyway, Fillip talks about the business world and how he doesn’t want any part of the ugliness that comes along with it and when he’s done ranting, he gets up to leave, checking to see if Jill wants to come with him to the hearing and she’s all, “My one and only son, it wouldn’t be good for your chances if I was there.” He relents, takes one last suck from her breast and leaves.

Once he’s gone, she looks over at Jack & Ashley again and recalls her conversation with TGVN. In the mood to do some damage, she trots over to siblings all, “Oh you just won’t believe what I have to say!” Ash responds, “Victor didn’t give you a job after you begged and we won’t either.” And Jill’s like “Beg? Bitch, say what?” The Abbott siblings smug smugly at her lameness and her face says, “Oh, now it’s on.”

She takes a seat and Jack is like, “You know what? We should be going. We have a custody hearing to go to for that guy, you know, your other son?” Jill ignores him and praises Fillip’s principles. Jack & Ash roll their eyes until Jack states, “You know, you and Billy really should be closer considering how neither of you has a real mother.” Jill’s like “Billy who?” and takes the opportunity to talk about herself. Ash gets ill from being around Jill … or the baby one or the other and Jill seeing that they’re about to leave is all, “You can’t leave. I still have lives to ruin!” Jack’s like, “No. One. Cares. Jill,” and they walk off, leaving Jill to stew in her own toxic pool of resentment.

Over at Crimson Lights, Kate’s harassing NuMac and Billy’s still lugging around his kid like she’s the hottest accessory. He’s all, “Wtf are you doing Kate?” And she’s like, “How dare you not support me when I’m trying to threaten the ex-love of your life?” NuMac interrupts stating that it’s all good but Kate needs to suck it up because she’s not going anywhere and with that said she heads outside, leaving Billy & Kate to continue with their bickering. Billy turns to Kate exasperated, “You know where this behaviour would be awesome? In court. In front of judge… Please get a fucking grip.” Kate gets all Mama Bear on him and tells him that she’ll do whatever it takes to ensure that no one takes her baby away from her.

They take a seat at one of the tables and for a few moments share their concerns about the custody hearing. Then they watch the baby sleep. They wonder what she’s dreaming about. Growing up? Borrowing mommy’s mini dresses? Joy riding in daddy’s car? Kate continues to worry that they won’t be there to see any of these moments and Billy consoles her. He looks over at NuMac, who is sitting outside, and they catch each other’s eyes. Uncomfortable, he looks away, kisses Kate’s hand and tells her just to enjoy the moment.

At the courthouse, Ana is waiting outside with Devon. They talk about their adoption situations and Devon tells her that no matter whom she leaves with, she’ll still have him.

In the courtroom, Neil’s standing up, preparing to make a complete ass of himself. He declares how important Devon is to him and explains how much Ana means to him and to Karen, especially since she came during a dark period of his life. Karen looks on pleased by his speech until he chooses that moment to blindside her. “I want to be the father Ana deserves,” he says. And to him that means that Ana should be with Tyred (read: Tyra + Tired). Karen gasps, feeling the knife slip between her shoulder blades. Tyred scrunches up her face and bawls. Rafe is all, “I went to law school for THIS?” and the judge is like, “Why are you bringing this up now?”

Neil explains that they have marital issues and Karen finally decides to speak up.

Karen: No. No, your honor. This man is a pathological liar. Don’t believe anything that comes out of his mouth.
Neil: I’m not a liar but I am an asshole and while Karen can forgive that, I don’t think its fair for either her or Ana to live with that much assholishness. By the way? GO TYRED!

Karen walks away in disbelief and Lily who is watching this all play out looks at her father with a “WTF” expression on her face. When court’s back in session, the judge gives Tyred sole custody of Ana. Tyred is thrilled and runs off to tell Ana the good news while Karen looks completely dead inside. Rafe is all, “I went to law school for THIS?”

Fillip has arrived. Ana notices him and “misters” him. Fillip asks why they’re there and Devon explains the situation. Lily comes out of the courtroom and asks to talk to him. She tells him about the hearing and admits that when all is said and done Ana should be with her mother. “It shouldn’t have been like this,” she says. The court battle, the lawyers, Ana didn’t need any of it. Fillip “sweethearts” her but she continues, “Baby D shouldn’t have to deal with this either. Not now or in the future.” She implores him to “make things right”.

Fillip ponders and ponders and finally, after months of going on about how Kate & Billy are terrible parents, in fifteen seconds decides to drop the suit. He tells Lily that he’s lucky to have her and Lily’s like, “You don’t know the half of it, buddy.”

Still outside, after hearing the news, Devon heads over to Neil and admits that he didn’t think Tyred stood a chance in getting custody and Neil responds, “She didn’t but I saved her from my wicked … er… wife…” Realizing how awkward that is, he wanders off thinking about how he just royally screwed over the woman he’s supposed to love.

Billy & Kate arrive at the courthouse and Fillip asks Kate if they can talk. They go inside and Kate rambles on about the fact that her baby needs her and he needs to understand that. Fillip’s all, “I do understand that,” and she’s like, “Come again?” He says he can’t justify taking baby D away from her and Kate, surprised and relieved, launches herself into his arms, uttering words of gratitude, while Fillip smiles and lifts her into his arms, looking, by the way, like he’s about to twirl her.

After he calls Michael, Fillip tells Kate that he’s going to keep an eye on her and Kate appears thrilled at the prospect of being watched by him. She tells him that she wants him to be part of the baby’s life and apologizes for all the mistakes she made and all the things she’s done to him. She tells him that being a mom is the only name she wants and Fillip looks at her with this fond little smile on his face, as if he wasn’t thinking of destroying her less than an hour ago.

Lily & Billy wait outside the courtroom while Kate & Fillip talk. Billy’s already planning her insertion into his family, “So you’ll be Aunt Lily and be primarily responsible for being D’s role model. God knows, she’s going to need one with Kate & I as her parents. And we’ll have barbecues and birthday parties and it’ll be awesome.” Lily looks skeptical and Billy’s like, “What? I’m serious. You don’t think I want you in my life? That I cared about and respected you when we were, uh, … well… umm, relating?” And she admits, “No, I know you did because when your crazy wife tried to destroy my life, you were really there for me.” Billy’s all, “Too true,” and looks away. Lily watches him for a moment, smiles, bites her lip and looks away too.

Jack & Ash arrive at the ranch. Ash steps away and Jack snoops. Adam walks in and when he realizes who it is, he says “Jack” in a way that says Jack is the Newman to his Seinfeld. He wants to know what Jack’s doing there.

Jack: Ash wasn’t feeling well so I brought her home.
Adam: Well, no need to hang around. I can look after her.
Jack: Look after her?! LOL, you’re blind.
Adam: Actually, I can see things like I’d never seen them before and you’re going to pay, just like I did.
Jack: I’m not buying this “I’m a wiser man now” routine, junior. The angry, vindictive Adam that I know and love, is still under there. Except, LOL, you’re blind now.
Adam: Awesome. Those blind jokes aren’t getting old at all.
Jack: LOL, you’re blind.

Ash hears the conversation and tells Jack to leave. Jack warns her not to buy the crap Adam is selling while Adam smirks on. Jack leaves and Ash apologizes to Adam for her brother.

Back at the GCAC Jill is drinking her sorrows away. Suddenly, a reporter begins to harass her, asking if she’s being sued for fraud since she’s not really Kay’s daughter. Jack’s tickets are rendered useless as her head explodes without him being there to watch. She snarls to the reporter that if he wants a story, she’ll give him one! The real story on Katherine Chancellor. Mac, who has just arrived, watches on in bemusement.

At Casa Winters, Karen’s in the middle of packing up her shit when Neil arrives. He’s like, “Huh? You’re actually leaving?! You’re not mad about that little thing at the hearing, are you?” Karen calls him out for being a hypocrite and he tries to ease her off the ledge. He tells her that she doesn’t want to leave and she’s all, “The hell I don’t!” He tells her that the marriage was real for him and she’s like, “Are you for real right now?” He tells her that he had to do it all for Ana and she’s like, “Do I need to get a gun?”

He continues to talk and she finally tells him to, “Shut. Up.” She states that she knew it was wrong from the beginning. They were wrong. It was why she left. It’s why when he followed her to NY & begged her to come back, she said no. But he wouldn’t give up and made promises, promises that she believed. Because Neil is the good guy. Neil’s supposed to be the good guy. But she was wrong to believe in him. He may be a lot of things but he is not the good guy.

He tells her to stop making him look like a scumbag and she’s like, “You did that all on your own, buddy.” She starts to walk away and he grabs her arm. He tries to detain her, telling her that he loves her and that’s when she officially loses it and bitch slaps him across the room.

Neil, clearly not sensing danger, comes back for more and tells her to believe that he loves her. She punches, fights him and tells him that she hates him. And as she’s doing this, Devon, Ana and Tyred walk inside of the house. When she sees them a new set of tears appear and you know she’s done. She is just done.

Ana goes up to her, believing that it’s her fault that this is happening and Karen assures her that it’s not. After a hug and a kiss in farewell, Karen gets up, grabs her bag and heads to the door. Neil calls out to her and she pauses. She’s still, her back to him, and the expression on Neil’s face is all, “Oh, I don’t have anything to say. I just felt that calling out your name was the least I could do. Bon Voyage!” Karen’s back stiffens at Neil’s lack of balls and she leaves.

And then a song begins as a montage plays and mother of God, it’s Ana singing again. Cut to Neil looking constipated or sad, who knows at this point, and Karen crying in the elevator (So long, Karen! Thanks for all the cake.). Then cut to the courthouse where Billy & Kate are hugging and looking down at baby D. Fillip & Lily watch them, then turn to each other with a smile and an embrace. Cut back to Neil who is looking down at his wedding ring and … yep, he’s constipated. FTB.

Next on Y&R: Fillip prepares to make his 97th proposal to Lily. Phyllis & Lauren come together in their anger over Sharon. Poor!Kevin at Poor!Jana and calls her Amber.